Impressions vs. reality - The Darden experience

As I enter into the fourth week of the MBA program at Darden, I wonder how has the experience has been so far. Before coming to Darden, I had talked to a number of current/ex. students about their experiences... how things work at Darden etc. Therefore, I came to Darden with a fair amount of preconceived ideas/expectations.

While it is good to find what you expected, it is actually very interesting to find things that you didn't think of or you thought will be different. No matter how much you pre-think about what all challenges you might face in a new place, especially an MBA school, you'll always miss out on the granularity of how things might turn out. This goes back to an interesting story that one of my classmates told us about the time he went for scubadiving for the first time. Before taking the plunge in the water, he used to think that scubadiving should not be that big a challenge. But when he got to know on the spot that he had to breathe the air out of his lungs to go down into water, it presented several complicated challenges to him. Moral of the story - In life, one always comes across challenges when doing something new but you got to breathe the air out of your lungs and take the plunge. What a strong message!! I have been blown away by this.

Anyways, for me there have been several good and not so good surprises. Personally, I didn't realize what kind of challenges the case study method would exactly present. There are two aspects to it that I didn't think a lot about before coming to Darden. First, being an international student, it gets really hard to contribute to some of the subjective/nebulous discussions in the class. Second, having no background in a subject (e.g. Accounting) doesn't help you a lot in getting those brownie points in class participation.

So, I'm hanging in there. Trying my best. Need to learn so much. In the first few days, it was disheartening if a class passed when I couldn't contribute something. On such days while on my way back home, I would curse myself for not thinking fast enough or not raising my hand or not being confident enough. But eventually I realized that I need to look at the positive aspect of it. The days when I cant contribute are obviously the days that I learn the most. I know it doesn't help my Class Participation points but seriously, I mean seriously - is life only about it? I think learning is much more important to me right now than proving that I know stuff. Atleast thats one of the objective I set for myself before coming to Darden.

All other things are just rolling fine. It just takes someone coming from India to get accustomed to Baseball, Foodtball, Softball and the endless list of games and their metaphors being used all the time. Some Darden specific terms - "in the box" and "networking" make to your ears a gazillion times during the first few weeks. I am surprised to see how much support Darden provides to International students. There are just tonnes of resources to help International students. Its amazing.

Well, the exams are around the corner. Maybe I wont get a homerun on that but I am just ready to punt it in the fourth down. I guess that will make sense to y'all. :)

Across the border

This was definitely a prolonged hiatus in the gunfire from across the border. I raised my head and saw a buzzard taking a solitary flight. I tried to run but could barely totter. The precarious conditions which I had previously undermined had enlivened my macabre fears. I scratched my stubble and hollered at the top of my voice out of frustration. There was not a soul.

I had never believed colonel’s stories, always considered them to be his attempts at praising defence life by jacking them up a bit. It was his stab at breaking the drudgery of his lame job, which he claimed he carried out pretty doggedly all year long. The visitors’ diffident manner was always turned outwards by his enthralling, fervent anecdotes of his apparent heyday. He would slide down comfortably in his chair and cast a spell on the listener with stories of his marksman capabilities. He was a sniper of some order. But, I never wanted to sassy and tell him exactly what I thought about his trash stories. His face would have gone livid and he would have become furious. I always kept listening, which made me feel feeble sometimes. I was not the kinds who would sass him but listen patiently, smile appropriately and show my fake interest whenever he was so forthcoming. I used to think to myself, correcting his ways is like squaring the circle – a hopeless, meaningless, vain undertaking.

Once, colonel was cracking jokes about how he had fooled Xobile's brother once. This set Xobile’s teeth on the edge. But the colonel would not stop; nothing could make him realize that Xobile might take umbrage at his rudeness. I knew Xobile would soon go stark raving mad and strangle the colonel. I ordered him to retire to the barracks knowing his ephemeral bad temper. I knew he would forget this by the morning....

Mixed feelings

During this Diwali vacation, I realized that I am just waiting for a chance to devote all my energy to. Something larger than life to stand up for. And I have been waiting for this desperately. I still dont know whats my calling in life.. what is it that deeply moves me... I only have a faint idea of it. But I am not sure.

Happiness comes from efforts you put in towards an achievement and not the achievement itself. Otherwise, everyone would have been sitting in casinos, making easy money. We work, human beings work and learn from it, develop ourselves, make the society a better place.. and that makes them happy.

My mind is endlessly battling with thoughts, actions about what is right and what is wrong. I want to change myself.. the way things are.. change is good and I have always found change good.

The problem with normal human beings is that we can focus on only one thing and then work towards it. I cant conquer a mountain daily. Perhaps, the time would come when I would be ready for that. But who knows? Another thing about fighting it out is sometimes I think I would give my best shot when the chance is just right.. wait for the opportunity.. the dream opportunity.. which never comes.

Should I wait for opportunity or create opportunity?

Indira (Katherine Frank)

Katherine Frank took six years to write this meticulously detailed account of Indira which invited a lot of flak (more) due to her brief focus on the intimate vista of Indira’s life. Though I am not trying to pull chestnut out of fire here but I would like to opine that there is hardly any conclusion that Frank has drawn in her book about the rumours of Indira’s possible involvement with her German teacher at Shantiniketan, or then M. O. Mathai or Dinesh Singh or Dhirendra Brahmachari, not to mention P. K. Haksar or the entire male population of India. The misapprehension in the Congress camp is an old age thin-skinned habit of trying to see demons where they are not. If anything, this is not an attempt by Frank to show Indira’s feet of clay.

The book is written with the precision and exhaustiveness of a scholar, footnoting sources ubiquitously. However, there is little, if any analysis of these facts, possibly due to the reason that as a foreign biographer, Katherine does not come close enough to have the sensitivity to analyse the life of Indira.

“Indu boy” was born in the same month as the Russian Revolution and she always felt that her life was linked to the trajectory of history. She had a tough childhood due to her mother’s illness and finally sad demise; and even more challenging married life with Feroze. Indira grew upto become a gutsy politician who took draconian measures to suit her political motives. Charged guilty of illegal practices in election campaigns, she refused to resign and declared a state of emergency. However, Frank supports her authoritarianism by saying that she “was guilty of hubris but not megalomania.”

Further reads: Pupul Jayakar’s Indira Gandhi: An Intimate Biography (1993) and Inder Malhotra’s Indira Gandhi: A Personal and Political Biography (1991).

The Grapes Of Wrath (John Steinbeck)

Grapes of Wrath is perhaps the most noteworthy and famous novel based on the economic downturn termed as “Great Depression” in the US in early 30′s. The story revolves around an Oklahoma family amongst hundreds of thousands of poor people migrating to California in search of living. The state of Oklahoma was particularly hit during those times by mechanization of agriculture and Dust Bowl drought.In the story, the Joads sell off their house and land to move from their hometown to (deceptively) promising land of California in vain hope of finding a living. Living frugal, almost miserable lifestyle the Joads foraged fruit picking farms to earn as little as 2.5 cents per hour. All kind of mishaps occur during the course of the journey and afterwards; both grandma and granddad pass away on the way, Rose of Sharon (the daughter of the family) gives birth to a stillborn child, Casy – a preacher who had accompanied the family on this errand is killed for leading a strike against low labor costs. Tom Joad, the lead protagonist, a guy with a short temper in return kills the guy who attacked Casy. Tom had returned from the prison after getting a parole, convicted of killing someone in a fit of fury in the beginning of the story.

The immigrants are despised in California and looked upon as a potential threat by the owners of farm lands. Casy and later Tom finally understand the need for cooperative, as opposed to individualistic, solutions in times of misery.

Verdict: Serious, depressing, inflicted with misery.

Why you should not tailgate a Mercedes

Axiom 1:
If you tailgate, and it brakes you have to either kiss it's back or smell burning rubber or both.

Axiom 2:
If you kiss, you have to either give up a fortune or find to your surprise that your car has a dent while the Merc does not even have a scratch.

I learned these two axioms the hard way today.

Scuba diving

This pic is taken from an antique Kodak camera which was bought new for Rs. 500 in 1989 by my dad and sold for Rs. 750 in 2003 by me. The red tinge is probably due to exposure of the film to light.